Birthdays excite me. Mine and others. I spend months trying to figure out the perfect gift for all my friends and weeks finding them. All my friends had an entire month dedicated for them. And Nov 30!, woah, that’s the day I wait all my second term in school. I changed over time and with it my birthdays.
Nov 30, 2007
Anu turned 6 in her first grade. She had a lesson in her syllabus called “Happy birthday Anu”. It was the story of a little girl’s birthday. The little girl wore pink frock, pink ribbons and gave her friends chocolates. Anu’s sixth birthday had a similar template but she wore blue skirt and cute sleeveless crop top. Her tiny tummy was visible. She had chandhu pottu 3/4th the size of her forehead. Anu’s mom gave her blue pottu to go with the birthday outfit. Anu’s class teacher Ms. Jayanthi also wore a blue saree. They both same pinched.
Nov 30, 2009.
Anu had an appendix surgery that year. She could have almost died but that didn’t bother her. All she could think was that she was the only person in class who knew what appendix was. She was loved by everyone in the hospital though she stole a spoon of hot water and puked green later. On her birthday, she went to school wearing a flowy pink frock with a diamond pattern on the chest. Anu now had hair long enough to fit a double pony. That was the only frock she wore even after her birthdays. She learnt a new game to remove the frock. She removes it only in kitchen with both her mom and dad around. She unzips it and jumps out of the frock and runs to hide behind the fridge. No one should find her immediately. Her parents were great at pretending to look for her and be surprised when she jumps from behind the fridge in her yellow sheddi (underpants)
Nov 30, 2011.
Anu is in her fairy tale life and got a dress just like it. A white full length satin frock it’s gems all over the top part. Anu hated anything pricky that touches her skin. She loved the dress but hated wearing them. But on her birthday she wanted to be the princess. With the dress, she also wore a tiara to school. Her then best friend gave her a fragrant pink teddy eraser and a birthday card that she made. In the evening, her cousins came home. She shared a birthday with another cousin. They cut cake and took pictures.
Nov 30, 2014.
Anu and her family now lives with her aunt. Her mom is terribly sick and family is struggling financially. But her dad doesn’t let that get in the way of Anu celebrating her birthday. She moved on from frocks now. Its the season of collared tops and knee shorts, a trend that she refuses to let go even in her adulthood. She and her best friend share same birthday month. Her best friend is older to her by a week. She was the first school friend to come home on her birthday.
Nov 30, 2015.
Wishes are now made at 12am. Her sibling had a treasure hunt prepared to find her gifts. They cut cake at 10pm the previous night because Dad can’t stay awake till midnight. Anu can’t wear what she got for her birthday to school. Her school has dress code now and girls can’t wear t-shirts. Only chudithars with shawls. Her dad bought her a yellow chudithar that made her skin look dark and she didn’t like not being fair skinned. Stealing money from home is Anu’s new thing. And she stole some tens and fiftys and saved it to gift her friends and buy fancy chocolates for her birthdays. She had nearly 300 chocolates which she started collecting the beginning of October. Treating friends on birthdays is the trending thing to do. So she stole a little more for her birthday treat in dominoes.
Nov 30,2016.
Anu is in tenth grade now and birthday treat is the norm. Same dominoes but she had to steal more money than before. She celebrates her birthday without her parents but with her friends and their parents.
Nov 30, 2017.
Anu turns 16. She’s got a boyfriend now, not particularly by choice but peer compulsion. She spends her birthday with his friends but without him. That ends up in a huge fight eventually leading to a break up.
Nov 30, 2018
This is her last birthday in school and she is prepared for a blast. She had bought herself two pairs of coloured power contacts without her parents knowing. Her friend comes home the morning with an egg tray to throw it on Anu. Anu’s parents disgust this. In the evening she headed out to party with her friends on her scooty. She was wearing contacts and carried her specs in a bag. While riding, the specs falls down from the bike and breaks. That night she was hit by her parents for the first time on her birthday.
Nov 30, 2019.
Anu’s 18th birthday was in a new city surrounded by new friends. At 12 all her friends and family, about 30+ people call and wish her. Her roommates are tired of hearing Anu’s repetitive “Thenkusomuch”. The next morning a cake from her parents arrives to her hostel. She receives it and cuts it alone because her roommates were elsewhere. Anu feels older and responsible and thinks about future. So, she prepares herself for a meeting with a pyramid scheme sales rep. Thankfully she didn’t go through with it and her day ends with her roommates taking her out.
Nov 30,2020.
Its Anush now. He lives in Bangalore with his sibling in an apartment. His sibling’s friends are his best buddies. At 12, they cut cake at a friend’s apartment. There is booze, lots of it. They eat good home cooked food and gets sloshed. 30th morning, the day is lazy and sad. Anush and his friend burst out in tears.
Nov 30,2021.
So many things have changed now. Anush is legally Anush. He quit his previous college, changed course and moved into an apartment alone. His sibling hosts a house party inviting about 7 people. Anush eats the best cake he’s ever eaten in his life. All his gifts were very personal and he loved his friends for it.
Nov 29,2022.
Anush is medically transitioning and life isn’t as hopeless as it used to feel. It is sometimes sad and lonely but he loves his college. Around 11 pm Anush was washing dishes when he gets a call for a delivery. It was for cake. He keeps it on the table he just cleaned and proceeds to clean his house. He thinks about how important this birthday is. Not merely because its legal age to drink but for reasons beyond that. Happy 21 is what his favourite cousin who is now dead, wished on facebook when he turned 16. He gave a false birthday on facebook. 21 is when Anush’s mom lost her mother and he is worried about the relationship he has with his mother. A lot of things about him has now changed. His body, his friend circle, his priorities and all those changes are terrifying.
Nov 30,2022. 12 AM.
He knows its 12 when his phone rings. He picks the call and two of his friends wish him. He politely says ‘Thank you’ despite feeling uninterested. He opens the piñata cake his sibling sent with a gavel. Eats some cake for dinner and proceeds to wash dishes.
I talk cats 